It's beeeeen a while! And yes, I know MOST of you had forgotten the blog still even exists, but it does. And in just 10 days it turns a year old. Can you believe it?? Yup tis so, and I am so grateful for the support and reception the blog has received over the past year and the interest you have all shown in it and most importantly the respect you all have had for MY opinions and takes on the matters that surround our world.
At the end of last year after I finished recording "When We Were Black 2" I had heard through the grapevine (the internet) that one of my abseloute favourite humans who might I add is one of my celebrity mentors; Oprah Winfrey was releasing a book. The book she titled "What I know for sure" which was also the title of her column in the "O!" Magazine who my mother was a loyal subscriber and huge fan of. I rushed to order the book. I couldn't wait to read it and when it fell into my lap I enduldged and thourougly enjoyed it. While in the shower this evening, I had what Oprah would call the "light bulb moment", you know those sudden revelations and realizations that come like a rushing wind and consume your thoughts? Those "Aha!" moments. I realized over the year of the blogs existence and through my long silence, I too had things I knew for sure and brace yourselves, buckle up and enduldge as I share some of the things I KNOW FOR SURE:
1. I KNOW: THERE IS A GOD. Yup, its no secret I belive in a God. God almighty, the lord of the heaven and earth. The Lion of Judah, The Rock of Ages, The Ancient of Days, I am that I am. Yeah, my bestie. My Before Anything Else.... I know he exists. I know this because my life is testiment to this. I have seen his guiding and shielding hand ushering me into glory and taking me from one dimension to another higher ground. I know there is a God and I know that he is alive. I feel him. I don't always understand him but that's the point, if we understood God we would all think we were him. He's got to remain Sovreign, we've always got to wonder what he's up to and that's what seperates us from him. His ways are not our ways. I shared on one of my posts about "When We Were Black" that, to this day remains one of the reasons why I believe he is alive. But throughout everything I know he is by my side, your side- our side. And he's promises are yes and amen. I know this because to know this you have to experience it. I have. I truly have.
2. Racism is STILL ALIVE.While many of you will yawn at this statement. It is very true. Don't tell me about democracy because it's just a word we've been drilled with, dominant in our Constitution but vacant in our society. Cape Town society to be exact. Allow me to share three experiences that are not even HALF of the rude white encounters I have had to experience in the Good old Cape. One afternoon my cousin and I were roaming the streets of Cape Town, I had a casting- a call back for an SABC series when we past an old rusty citi golf. The White man who was in the passangers seat saw my cousin and I approaching and spontaneously rushed to lock all the doors and panicked as we walked past. He gave us a death stare. Inside I thought, if only you knew the cars we have back home for me to come and steal your rusty, worn out and outdated car. The second incident was last year when my First lady, my mom came to visit me in the Cape. We had an hour to spare before our boat cruise to Robben Island when we decided to enter a coffee shop for a light meal. We stood there waiting to be seated as the board clearly said and the waiters and waitresses passed us like we were walls. When White people behind us came they were served eagerly. My mother and I are no walk overs, we complained and attempted to get justice but all went to deaf ears- no one could be moved. Thirdly, last year my cousin and my friends went out to a very upmarket resturant at the V&A waterfront to celebrate my cousins birthday. We'd googled the resturant before going to it so we had a vague idea of what to expect. We certainly did not expect to be treated like yesterdays garbage. Upon our arrival a nervous white waitress (With a "what are you doing here" look) seated us and never returned to take our orders. We were evidently the ONLY blacks there and all the white people stopped eating and gazed at us in shock, disgust and trauma. We complained to a manager who couldn't be moved by the complaint. I've seen this continously. While all the blacks on my social media were posting on Xenophobic attacks and raising awareness not a SINGLE white was moved by it. No one shared a single link or had an opinion. Just us blacks. It was our war after all. Black on Black War, how foolish, nowonder the whities just stare and laugh at our foolishness. We can be so blind sometimes I admit. I wish for a moment that we, the blacks could observe how United the White population are when a matter arises affecting them. Together they stand as one, as a unit. But us, ha! well it's not comedy night yet, so I'll remain silent. Moving on.
3. Love is easily the most beautiful thing, BUT it shouldn't be awakened before it's time. This topic is tricky but let me break it down like this. Love is beautiful. It's a feeling that no poet could ever truly explain no lyrisist could ever define and in our pursuit for it, its easy to lose ourselves in the process. It's worse when the timing is not conducive to be romantically involved. Love has no time frame but it is patient, it is kind. It takes time. And when you awaken it before the right time, it will haunt you like a dark shadow. Leaving you discontent, hurt, restless and impatient. I also know that love love makes people to do foolish things. It tends to make fools out everyone but most importantly I know that no human on the face of this of this earth is capable to truly love. God IS love. And the only way to truly experience love is through him, by him before we can attempt to be in pursuit of it. I also know that love is all around us. It is ever there. It is eternal because it is essentially God. For he IS love.
4. The world is too round, too small. Oh! I know this one all too well. Picture this, you tell yourself that you will never see someone after you matriculate, you move cities and start a new life then BAM! You meet them by complete chance five years down the line through a mutual friend. A friend might I add is one you made in the new city. Turns out the two have known each other for ages and when you are introduced you realize that the world is small indeed. I cannot tell you how many people I vowed I would never have encounters with ever again, creep up and find me on the road to my destiny. This has taught me to keep good ties and to never say never. Our lives interlink somehow. Our paths are prone to cross at some stage or another. We all know someone who will be that one link to that person you never wanted to see again. I wish I had more words to articulate this statement. The world is too small. I know this for sure.
5. Every big issue begins with a small seed. I am now a young adult. No more a teen. And some of the issues I battle with at my age began as a small issue and began to grow with time. My favourite poet; "Janet Ikz" states in her poem titled 'The Truth Without Photoshop'- "Every issue begins with a small seed, so be careful what you're planting in your spirit". This I've found to be extremley true. I know for sure that every hurt, every pain and every bitterness began somewhere. Perhaps from that bully in Primary School or those comments when you walked on stage to get an award or that remark an uncle made at age five or whatever the case may be, it begins somewhere. I cannot begin to tell you how I keep going back in time to re-trace some feelings of pain to my childhood and Highschool years and I realize that the big issue(s) I face in my young adulthood began somewhere. I know this for sure. I try share it with as many I can because this is the truth.
6. Seek to understand rather than to be understood. This year has taught me many of those. I have been busy on my pilot for a dream of mine, to have a talk show where I sit down with a young succesful individual and engage in a meaningful conversation. And I can tell you this, every talk show host, including me enters an interview with an intention. Each time before I go on location to record an interview I have a sit down with my script writers and crew to establish what it is we want to get from the interview. I pat myself on the back each time we achieve exactly what I had in mind but with this one particular guest it didn't quite go the way I'd hoped. He wasn't giving me the answers I wanted. He wasn't responding the way I hoped. I was so frustrated when I left the location, beat myself up about it while driving back with my producer when I suddenly had an "Aha!" moment. It wasn't about me...... It wasn't at all about me. It was about him. The interview was about him and not me. So often we want people to behave in a way we would like because well, we have something in mind that's not quite the what they do. When we should pause and allow ourselves to know them before pushing our own feelings and agendas on them.
I also know this with another young girl I worked with in a programme I'm in on campus who just wasn't my cup of tea. We had numerous run-ins and as her supervisor I had great difficulty working with her and bringing out the best in her like any true leader should until I sat down with her to get down to the bottom of it. And I realized there were bigger issues there than just my feelings of being disrespected and undermined. She needed liberation. And I realized then and there to seek understanding rather than to be understood. It's not always about you.
7. Like seasons, people change too. The sad thing about this is that we're not always prepared for this reality hence it hurts when it does become a reality. I cannot tell you how many people have changed on me over the years. Friends who I spoke to every single day are complete strangers today. You never get a friendship contract that tells you when a friendship will expire. It often happens when you least expect it and it hurts. Especially if the friendship meant a great deal and you know in your heart of hearts that you did nothing to jeapordize the friendship. People are complex, full of crap and issues. It's life. It sucks. It's hard and painful but I know for sure, Like seasons, people change and whenever this happens, I am learning that it's always when God is creating a new heart within you for a new season that will need for these people to evacuate your life. I have ended many friendships by choice because I cannot associate with scandal makers with no vision but some friendships have ended because the person suddenly changed and showed me their true colours. Again, like seasons, people change too.
8. When days are dark friends are few..... the reality is, when you go through rough times, people who wanted to be associated with your shine suddenly shy away and make a no man show. I recently had a hard knock. A very,very, very difficult time. And not even a quater of the people I thought would show up for me did. People were too busy even for a phone call. Not even a text message. It sucked. It hurts. But that's the reality of life I suppose. The trying times reveal the most truest people. It is in our isolation whereby we receive our truest revelation. People love the shine, the limelight, the association with good things but when things go sour they are nowhere to be found. I know this for sure. And if you haven't experienced this, I only pray Grace of understanding when it happens to you.
9. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do but it is vital for YOUR OWN SANITY AND HEALING. Yes, this is I know for sure. I recently was offended. Very offended by those who I held dear to my heart. And none of them bothered to care if I was offended or not. Since the offence they've become strangers. And I eagerly waited for their apologies until I realized that while I sit and rot with offence inside, they are living their lives and are not even thinking about me. We have been taught that unforgiveness and bitterness is our power. If we forgive it shows weakness. But this is not true, When we forgive we liberate OURSELVES. Nobody else but OURSELVES. And though it may hurt like hell, because it will. Remind yourself that it's for your own sake. Also realize that it is a process. I have too much forgiving to do in my lifetime. And its taking time, but I know it's worth it. It's liberating to have true peace. The peace the Bible speaks about, The peace that supasses all understanding. Forgiving does this. The reality is, your family will at some point offend you. Your friends are no exceptions either. We just have to forgive. It's for our own good. We just have to forgive life for happening to us. It's the way it is
10. Life can smack you in the face while you're busy making plans. The experience I recently encountered is, life can sometimes take an opposite direction. While you're busy making exciting plans and then from nowhere you receive a call with disturbing news that puts those plans either on hold or those plans to shear disaster. I am not saying remain negative and expect the worst but also know that life happens. It isn't always nice but not everything can entirely go our way.
11. 'Don't compare yours to his or her story, coz' details are boring, at the end of the day we all fall short of his glory'- Asanda Slam. This quote is from one of my favourite poems. I first heard it in 2012 when I ran an NPO arts initiative for artists back home. Asanda Slam is one of the poets we worked with, her poems had depth and truth and I liked that. This poem has remained with me for all these years and I'll tell you why. We are so quick to trying to keep up with the Jones next door. When people acheive we often question our level of success and compare ourselves to them. The reality is, we all fall short of Gods glory like scripture says, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We are all equal before God. Whether you drive a Mercedes and I take a taxi. Whether you have a degree and I have Grade 9. We all short of Gods glory. We all go through stuff guys. Serious stuff. Don't be fooled by picture perfect lives of Instagram and Check-in's on facebook.... Its real out here. We all go through some things we cannot publicly share on social media. You'd be surprised how many wet pillows are there at night because of someones tears. And you'd think these people have it all, when they don't. They actually wish to be you or anyone but themselves. Don't be fooled by peoples looks or gadgets or Facebook likes. WE ALL GO THROUGH STUFF.
Those are just SOME of the things I know for sure, I certainly have been blessed with wisdom at a tender age and know alot more but these were closer to my heart and seemed meaningful for me and I hope for you too. That is all. Bye Felicia!
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