LOOK AT GOD: THERE IS A GOD

 Left: Ntsika Majiba(General/Presley), Awethu Hleli(Portia), Zandile Madliwa(Mandisa), Athi Jam Jam(Vusi/General 2), Babalwa Grace Ngcare(Meisie) and Bonnie Mbuli (Mistress)

 Above: Andrea and I on inbetween takes

Above: Athi, Bonnie, Khalo Matabane (Director) and Myself on the last day of filming

This is probably the most vulnerable and open blog I’ll ever write about myself. I never blog without a specific purpose, I have tremendous respect for my readers and fans of this blog hence I take careful consideration before I blog. I suppose that is why the blog has doubled viewership in a space of 3 months, thousands are viewing this blog and sharing it with their friends and loved ones, for that I am truly grateful. You might want to grab a tissue or something before you read this (just saying). Many who know me on a personal level will tell you that the arts is not just a hobby or an interest, it’s my calling and my ministry. I believe we were all placed on this earth to fulfil some form of worship to God; the using of our gifts in my opinion is worship. Worship isn’t only singing and praying, it’s when you fulfil your purpose on earth to glorify your architect, your maker and God. What a pleasure it is for me personally to do something I know I was called to do. Being paid for it is a mere bonus, just the opportunity and platform to do what I love is more than enough. I come from a small city in the Eastern Cape, East London. Amazing little city it is however it isn’t too friendly when it comes to artistic opportunities. The best you can be is a well- known theatre actor or dancer and that’s it when the arts is concerned. I was fortunate to have had a theatre career from the age of 9 in East London but I always knew that I was destined for bigger and better opportunities, the drama awards that I scooped over the years weren’t the only certainty, it was a feeling I knew from deep within me. I was often frustrated when I watched people my age doing exactly what I wanted to do; to tell stories for the world to know, I knew I had what it takes.

Often I called and emailed production houses who all said they’d love to give me a chance but I’m too far. It bruised me to know the only thing stopping my worship on a bigger platform was the place I was in. None the less I shut that door after matriculating 2 years ago to come and pursue a degree that isn’t even related to acting, far from it even. I didn’t plan to come and study in Cape Town, I had other plans, plans of my own but God saw it fit to keep me in suspense of his great plans. I did and completed my first year and for a moment I bluffed myself into believing that I was over acting and that I wasn’t going into that direction. I’d often say “maaaybe in the future. Not now”. People applauded me by using my mother’s advice to study something stable. It only dawned on me last year during the festive season how frustrated I was that I wasn’t doing what I was called to do. I said a quick prayer, asking God to reveal his will for my life and to grant me another opportunity to perform. I remember saying this prayer at the Guild Theatre in East London, after I was invited to view one of the pantomimes I performed more than 5 years ago. I itched to be on that stage, for the first time I felt complete bondage. I remember jotting down my new year goals at the beginning of this year and one of them was to land a debut role of some sort, no matter how small. I prayed over them and continued living. I remember the day I started this blog I spontaneously woke up from my nap and asked myself if I am living according to Gods purpose for my life, I instantly remembered an old classmate in high school who advised me to start a blog after my column “Ntsika says” was banned from the highshool newspaper and as the editor I could only write “nice articles”. So, I used this median to express myself, but I still wasn’t content. I knew acting was what I should be doing. I was about to leave Cape Town to visit home during my June vacation period when I received a call from a director who wanted me to read for a role in a pilot series, I was so excited and I remember doing an online audition, which later it turned out I didn’t get the role.

I was devastated to say the least. I grew so angry towards God, I wasn’t praying, I wasn’t attending church and I was so depressed. I felt so oppressed within myself. I remember feeling something within me, I know it was God and it kept saying “be patient. It’s coming”. I watched sermons to awaken me spiritually and one evening my former spiritual mother said in an online broadcast; “someone watching this is to receive a break through in 20 days”. Could it be me? I asked myself. Nonetheless I marked 20 days later on my calendar and prayed that it would be me. One afternoon, I was scrolling down a website when I saw an audition notice for an SABC series. I thought this must be a joke. Most SABC productions cast via top casting agencies and barely hold open auditions. It was looking for black, Xhosa speaking actors and I remember claiming that this was the breakthrough I’d been waiting for. I emailed my CV to production and I didn’t get a response. Other people who I knew were auditioning too and they’d received confirmation and an audition script. I didn’t. I sent about 5 emails and I got no response. I was so depressed. I prayed and prayed but nothing came my way. The auditions had passed and I was certain they’d cast. My friend contacts me and tells me to contact them again, I refused, I was tired but I’m grateful he texted me because it was the push of faith I needed. I emailed production again and I got nothing. Days passed and I was getting my motivation from one of my mentors; Oprah Winfrey and I emailed the director on a Wednesday evening, said a prayer and slept. The following morning, I opened my email to find his response. He wasn’t begging me. It was his way or no way, asked me where I was and gave me an address. I begged to audition the following day, he didn’t budge. I had a rusty 20cents coin in my cupboard. How was I to get to the venue?

I remember praying and begging God to provide a way, of course he did. My mother pulled through and deposited money on the grounds that I not let this interfere with school. I remember ditching a presentation to get ready for the audition. Hours later I found myself at a film studio in Cape Town CBD with some of Cape Towns hopefuls. Holding an audition script, shaking nervously. Prior to that, I’d googled the director and literally prayed over his image to give me this role. That God may grant me favour in his eyes. I was extremely nervous. I was auditioning for an award winning series by a huge film maker. I auditioned, nervous as I was, I blew him away. He remained silent for a minute, staring at me and said”wow. Thank you”. I remember my hands sweating and knees shaking. That evening the same production assistant who ignored my emails was begging to come for a call back the following afternoon, I went and 3 days later I received a call to confirm my casting of a small yet prominent supporting role on season 2 of award winning SABC series “When We Were Black”. 

Might I add that the 20 days prophesy was correct, I was the viewer who was to get a breakthrough. 20 days later I began filming. I am grateful. So grateful. I am 20. The country is celebrating 20 years of democracy and I am telling history to the nation. Although my character is not a lead I am grateful. Only  3 male acting roles in my age range this season. Over 300 hopefuls auditioned for my part and I was the one chosen. Some went through months of auditioning before being cast, mine was within days. LOOK AT GOD!. I went from an ordinary university student with dreams to be an actor who was fetched by a driver to a set with tight security and being treated like the star I was born to be. Catch me along side amazing cast members like: Thembi Mtshali-Jones, Andrea Dondolo, Deon Lotz, Mbulelo Grootboom, Keenan Arrison, Bonnie Mbuli and some new amazing talent; Zandile Madliwa, Awethu Hleli, Athi Jam Jam and Babalwa Grace Ngcare. I promise it will be an amazing season that will keep you captivated. Thank you God, Thank-you Mr Matabane (Mr “K”-the director) and an amazing crew. My mother for her support and the genuine people I call friends. 20:30pm, tomorrow (16/10/2014) on SABC 1 is episode 1. Once again, LOOK AT GOD. There is a God, up there in the heavens, there is a GOD. THERE IS A GOD! In him I move, live and have my very being.